Six months ago I was on cloud 9. I was so ready to attack this year with change and passion and wholehearted excitement for opportunity and adventure. Then, suddenly, I chose broke up with my boyfriend. And my excitement for the year to come quickly turned to fear of being alone and fear of failing... I was engulfed in a sea of fear. Constant anxiety, constantly pulsating though my veins.- And then I started to date a guy. And we really liked each other. But when you’re burdened by such drastic change and you’re left without a sense of community one tends to act like a desperate, needy, awkward, hot mess. And that’s what I was- a hot mess. I wasn't myself. And when that ended I was unable to ignore issues I had left unattended for so long.
And now I'm here - six months after the start of the year and I am ready to leave it behind. I'm ready to leave that version I've myself behind. Years like this are what change is made of. Sometimes we need to fall on our faces to finally get it. You almost need a call to arms to work through it and go to war with your inner demons. And that's what I'm doing. Moving forward. Finally, working out those things, those fears, those bad habits.
I'm choosing to turn a shitty year, full of regret and fear, into a learning experience, as opposed to collapsing into the pressure and ending off worse for it.- And I'm writing this as a reminder to myself for the next time I want to give up. Because it's fucking hard. But I'm taking one step forward, then three steps back... Then getting back up and taking another step in the right direction until I've gotten to where I want to be. That's my vow for the next six months. - Get better.
And now I'm here - six months after the start of the year and I am ready to leave it behind. I'm ready to leave that version I've myself behind. Years like this are what change is made of. Sometimes we need to fall on our faces to finally get it. You almost need a call to arms to work through it and go to war with your inner demons. And that's what I'm doing. Moving forward. Finally, working out those things, those fears, those bad habits.
I'm choosing to turn a shitty year, full of regret and fear, into a learning experience, as opposed to collapsing into the pressure and ending off worse for it.- And I'm writing this as a reminder to myself for the next time I want to give up. Because it's fucking hard. But I'm taking one step forward, then three steps back... Then getting back up and taking another step in the right direction until I've gotten to where I want to be. That's my vow for the next six months. - Get better.
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